


Make it Better

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Series: Brothers [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas confides in Dean, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Sam confides in Dean, Season/Series 12, Support Group, Supportive Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 15:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8407501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: The third installment of the Brothers series. It helps to read the first two but can be read alone. Sam and Cas finally open up to Dean about their traumatic experiences.





	

Cas paced the floor of his room. He knew he needed to talk to Dean. He knew he would have to build the bridge for Sam to cross if he was ever going to heal. He wished he had another liquor store to drink.  _ I can do this. _ He balled his hands into fists and left the room. 

 

Dean was laid back on his bed reading a book. He was currently engrossed in  _ Game of Thrones. _ Cas stood in the doorway and lightly tapped the frame.

 

“Hey, Cas,” Dean greeted. He patted the bed next to him. “Pull up some memory foam, buddy.”

 

Cas took his place beside the hunter. The solemn look on his face had Dean concerned. 

 

“What’s up?”

 

Cas drew in his breath. This would never be easy. “I need to tell you something, something that I should have told you a long time ago. It's...difficult, to say the least.”

 

Dean set his book down and turned to face Cas. “Tell me. Please?”

 

Another heaving breath. “It’s about April, the reaper. It was cold that night, raining. I was afraid I might freeze to death if I couldn't find adequate shelter. She offered me a place to stay. I didn’t think I had a choice. I thought if I said no she would cast me out. And you didn't want me to die a virgin. I was human and vulnerable…”

 

Dean's emerald eyes welled up with tears as he listened. He'd taken a couple hard gulps to swallow down the lump rising in his throat. His chin quivered, making him afraid to speak.

 

“I was ashamed that I let it happen. I’d rather you were proud of me for having sex than be judged for being raped by a woman.” He held a hand up to keep Dean from interjecting. “I understand now. I know you don't judge me. I know there is nothing to be ashamed of and that I should not have kept this to myself for so long.”

 

Dean sprung forward to hug him. “I’m so sorry, Cas. It's all my fault. I should have come to get you sooner. I shouldn't have made that joke about protection. I’m so glad I killed that bitch.” He pulled back, sniffling and blinking away tears from his lashes. “Why now? I mean, I wish you'd told me sooner, but did it really take this long to come out?”

 

“Yes, Dean, it did. But I didn't do this for me.”

 

“Wha-what are you saying?” Dean's stomach dropped and his mouth went dry. He suspected where this was going. “Sammy?”

 

Cas nodded. 

 

“I should have blown her fucking brains out when I had the chance. I will hunt down that evil bitch even if I have to swim to England to cut her throat.” Dean seethed with rage. He jumped up from his bed and paced harder than Cas had done just minutes earlier. “I need to talk to him.” He stormed out and down the hall.

 

Cas was on his heels and held him back from pounding on the door. “Stop it. You go in there like that he will shut down.”

 

Dean huffed and tried to calm himself. “You’re right. He’s a victim. He's been hurt. I just need to hear it from him.”

 

“Good. That's good, Dean. Be kind to him like you were with me.”

 

“I can do that. Yeah. I got this.”

 

Dean knocked first and waited for Sam to call him in. Cas stayed behind.

 

“Dean? You okay?” Sam noticed his red nose and puffy eyes.

 

“No, I'm not. Cas just told me...he told me what happened to him and…” a few more tears fell. “It happened to you too, didn't it? Tell me, Sammy. I gotta know so I can help you.”

 

All the color drained from Sam's face. He knew after he last talked to Cas that this day was coming but he would never be ready for it had it taken another twenty years. “Yeah, Dean. It did.”

 

Dean crossed the room and flopped down on the bed by his suddenly very baby brother. “Why did you tell Cas instead of me? I mean I'm glad you told somebody but you can tell me anything.”

 

Sam dropped his head and his thick brown hair covered his face. “Because Cas found out when he let Lucifer in. He saw what happened to me in the cage and he told me how sorry he was for bringing Lucifer into our home, for letting Lucifer wear his face. He made me say the words out loud and told me about April.”

 

Dean was horrified. “Lucifer did that to you?”

 

“He raped me, Dean. He hurt me in ways you couldn't imagine and I couldn't fight him.”

 

“I pushed you. I kept pushing you to save him,” Dean said quietly. Waves of guilt washed over him.

 

“I did it for you, Dean. I did it to save Cas because I know how much you love him.”

 

“Sammy...I’m so sorry. I'm sorry for all of this.”

 

“Dean, no. You can't take the blame for this, any of it. It's not yours, mine, or Cas’ fault. You couldn't have known. You couldn't stop it. Lucifer did this to me. Toni did this to me. April hurt Cas.”

 

Dean was deflated. “What can I do? Tell me what to do to help you? Anything. We'll go to counseling. I want you to be okay, for Cas to be okay.”

 

“Tell Cas how you feel about him. Please? For him to heal he needs you to be there for him, to be his partner. And for me, I tried counseling alone and Cas offered to go with me. Maybe I can do this with both of you there. I don't know.”

 

Dean grabbed Sam by the back of the neck and pulled him in for a tight hug, not letting him go until Sam tapped out. “I’m going to fillet that British bitch. I swear to Chuck, Sammy. I am going to end her. And Lucifer? Well we’re all going to carve a chunk out of his ass before we kick it back to hell.”

 

“I know, Dean. Wouldn't expect anything less.” Sam allowed himself a real smile instead of the ones he’d been forcing. “Seriously, tell Cas. I can't be the only one to tell him he’s loved.”

 

Dean nodded. He really didn't have an excuse not to. His buried secret was nothing compared to what Sam and Cas had the balls to tell him. He hugged his brother again and kissed the top of his head like he did when Sam was little. “You and Cas are the bravest men I know. I just want you to know that.” He stood up. 

 

Cas had returned to his room, sitting on his bed with his knees drawn up and his arms around them. He was just staring at the wall, a million things racing through his mind. His concentration was only broken when Dean called his name.

 

“Sammy told me everything. He told me how you were there for him. If you guys wanna go see somebody, a pro, I’d go too if you want. I wanna help you guys get better.”

 

“A great weight was lifted from me by confiding in Sam and then you.”

 

Dean slid up beside him on the bed and he put an arm around Cas. He leaned his head to rest on Cas’. “What do you want us to be?”

 

Cas’ eyes widened. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

 

“Okay, I'll go first. I’m scared as hell. Terrified of fucking things up when it seems like we finally got it together.”

 

Cas’ face fell. Dean was letting him down easy.

 

“But you're worth it, Cas. You're worth taking that chance because I-I love you.”

 

Cas gasped. “Dean. Are you saying-?” but he was cut off with a kiss. It was simple and sweet, just lips pressed to his. Dean's hand cupped the side of his face.

 

“Oh, fuck. Was that okay? I'm sorry. I should have asked-” but he was cut off by Cas this time. If there was one thing Cas learned from the pizza man it was how to kiss back. Dean melted into it.

 

“Definitely okay, Dean. If we are together, you never have to ask to kiss me.”

 

Dean smiled and nuzzled him. “I’m yours as long as you’ll have me.”

 

**_Three weeks later_ **

 

Dean held Cas’ hand as he shared his experience with a support group they’d found. Sam sat to his right and waited his turn. There were only men in the basement of the church. They had to drive a little over an hour once a week but it was worth it to find other survivors. 

Dean's heart broke for each of them, their stories that started when a couple of them were just kids. He was the only supportive partner. He said at the first meeting he attended he’d understand if they didn't feel comfortable with him there. They felt him out for that hour and a half and nobody told him to fuck off. He came back and sat apart the next week as well. This time he was invited in. 

  
He learned a lot about how to be a good brother and a good boyfriend. He learned about triggers and how to avoid them. He felt like he wasn't doing enough. He wished he could take all that pain away. He understood it was a long road to recovery and he would be by their side every step of it.


End file.
